Dear Sister: Memoirs of a Beaten, Dead Horse

If you're new to this blog, I suggest you skip this entry and read "A People's History of Garbage Day". This post could be too much too soon.



In David Sedaris' "Naked", the author includes an aside about stepping into a high-end gift store and seeing a pair of glass eyeballs. His immediate impulse was to hold the eyes in front of his face and make his brother laugh. Before he could make this joke Sedaris noticed a sign on the counter which said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Please do not pick up the eyeballs and hold them up to your face." The moment was a crushing one for Sedaris. It illustrates something we all go through, which is thinking we've come up with a unique, hilarous gag only to discover that everyone and their sister has the same impulse.


Which brings us to the "Dear Sister" videos.


Our story begins on May 19, 2005, a.k.a the night of The O.C.'s second-season finale. In a tense moment of gunplay and melodrama Marissa saves Ryan's life by shooting his brother. To ensure that audience understood the drama, the scene was presented in slow-motion, complete with a powerful emo sountrack.

I hate to waste blog-space showing clips from The O.C., but you can watch the original scene here.






In 2007, Saturday Night Live lampooned the cancelled, prime-time soap opera with one of their world famous "digital shorts." I don't know why they waited two years. Perhaps America just wasn't ready to laugh so soon after Marissa shot Trey.

Again, I don't want to waste valueable blog space with SNL content, but you can see their video here.






In no time, internet-video enthusiasts were flooding cyberspace with their own "Dear Sister" mash-ups. I hesitate to call them "parodies", as they don't actually parody anything. The vidoes have all the satirical bite of a skit you'd see at Summer Camp.


This new trend of re-creations incorporates "Wedding Crashers", "Lost", "South Park", "300", Elmer Fudd, Nintendo's "Duck Hunt", basically any media moment wherein someone fires a gun. (I tell ya, somebody could create a rarely visited weblog devoted to those mash-ups. Don't look at me, I've got my hands full!)


To date there are four "Garbage Day" videos inspired by the SNL hijinks.


(ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO CLICK HERE!)



The first comes from TEENWOLFTHEBAND. To his credit (?), this was the first of its kind. The resulting video offers the comfort and predictability of a Quizno's grilled-cheese sandwich. (note: this video was already featured in "A People's History of Garbage Day")







The next video to combine the chocolate and peanut butter of Eric Freeman and Imogen Heap was "Dear Sister: Garbage Day edition". To MRCAMEL123's credit, s/he tells the same joke in half the time.






Cinephiles will prefer the NINJASKICKANUS version, because it's presented in letterbox format.





But the last one to the party was GATSBYEXPRESS, who's self-proclaimed "spoof" distinguishes itself by starting with additional footage of the shooter. We open on Ricky, as though GATSBYEXPRESS identifies with the criminal and not the victim.






I would like to point out that most of the video-makers do not have any other videos listed on their YouTube page, except for MRCAMEL123 who posted something called "Penis Power Remix" -- again, he speaks to the cinephiles.


Also of interest, none of the filmmakers seem to be aware of each other's work. I hope this blog sets them all straight.

Happy Mother's Day

My Mom doesn't know about this blog. I don't think she'd "get it".

Anyway, you might expect someone to post a "Mother's Day"/"Garbage Day" video this weekend. In a perfect world Nancy Walker would rise from the grave and appear in a housecoat and fuzzy slippers to gun down some schlub in his driveway. Alas, it was not to be.


. . .


Tom Carvel once said "Ice Cream is good, but an ice cream cake shaped like a whale and covered in fudge is better."

Likewise, a "Mother's Day" video would be good, but SomethingDay's latest video is better. Again, the gunman really chews the scenery, but it's that unsupecting straight man who really sells the piece. See for yourself...





oh, and if you were looking for a good Mother's Day video, this one's as reliable as a Whitman Sampler...

A People's History of "Garbage Day!"

CLOSE-UP: Garbage Can.

REVERSE SHOT: Can is removed to reveal Ricky.

RICKY: (eyebrows a flutter) Garbage Day!

TRASH OWNER: Huh? No - UH!

RICKY: Heh heh heh...


It all started with "SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 2" (1987) The horror sequel (part 2 of 5) featured a scene where a crazed anti-hero runs amock in the suburbs...





Since then, "Garbage Day!" has become a phenomena, complete with tributes, parodies and mash-ups. This blog will serve as an anthology of these 20-second clips.


The first documented remake came from IANTNOEVANGELIST. The washed-out video is no longer availible for embedding (by the filmmaker's request), but it can be seen if you go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftPWI3adKws&NR.

GARBAGEDAYREMAKE premiered on YouTube in March 2006.


The next version was a decidedly "geek"-y cover, posted by DARKDRONE on July 2, 2006.




Three days later FIEDY88 responded with his take on the video -- and he made "Garbage Day" history by playing the gunman AND the victim. His artistic choice would go on to inspire other visionary kids who own a camera but don't have theatrical friends.





Next came an old standby, the "Garbage Day Massacre" as an old-timey silent movie. You won't get to hear the classic line, but you will get an opportunity to follow actor Eric Freeman's expressive eyebrows.





Which brings us to one of the most controversial tributes yet: As of this writing, JACKASS233's no-buget rendition is one of the most poorly reviewed versions on the internet. And yet, it has a special place in my Garbage Day heart, probably because it's performed entirely by children.





But the worst was yet to come: JR. GARBAGE DAY answers the question, "How bad can these things get?"





The Garbage-Day-osphrere went silent for a few weeks. However this pregnant pause was merely the calm before the storm: SOMETHINGDAY made their first contribution with the absurd "TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY". The deadpan video combines the raw energy of "Garbage Day" with the irreverence of "Talk Like a Pirate Day" This movie went online just in time for National Talk Like a Pirate Day.





Following the momentum of "PIRATE", SOMETHINGDAY defied the sophmore slump and produced the wildly popular "LAUNDRY DAY". Like its predecessor, the video reimagines the Garbage Day myth in an all-new context. The results speak for themselves.





Meanwhile, FARSYGHT was editing a would-be viral video in which the Garbage Day gunman is paying lip service to the X-box game "Emergence Day - Gears of War". Damn you, makers of Branded Content -- is nothing sacred?





By the end of September 2006, it seemed like everyone was making "Garbage Day" videos -- even this speed-metal-goateed guy.






October 2006 was a time of quiet reflection. Everyone was waiting for someone else to make the next remake. EMOSTEVE69 stepped up to the plate and delivered not one, but TWO videos.

The first, titled COMMANDO GARBAGE DAY 1, edited the sounds of "SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 2" with video and dialogue from some other movie. The slow-moving mash-up failed on multiple levels, leaving fans angry, confused and even a little betrayed.





But the same day, EMOSTEVE69 redeemed himself by posting a terse tribute called NOT LAWSONS DAY (sic) A leaner, meaner version of COMMANDO GARBAGE DAY 1, the video gives audiences what they want to see.





By January 2007 media analyists wondered "Is Garbage Day mania over?"

No. Because in mid-February, GEETARJIZOSH92 delighted the world with one of the most innovative and hilarious spoofs yet. Rather than taking the bait of "Valentine's Day" the tweens (teens?) delivered "CLEANING YOUR ROOM DAY"





As if to prove that the Garbage Day Madness was experiencing a full-on renaissance, SOMETHINGDAY returned with another on-the-nose parody. "JUDGEMENT DAY" is "THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST" meets "SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 2", only better.





Soon the pendulum was swinging back, evidenced by this this multi-layered parody that collapses under its own weight. "DEAR GARBAGE DAY" tries to mock (?) a Saturday Night Live digital short (starring Shia LaBeouf) which in turn parodied (?) a shoot-out scene from The O.C., with music by Imogen Heap. Somehow it's exactly what you'd expect from a filmmaker called TEENWOLFTHEBAND.






Meanwhile this sorry video, unimaginatively titled "THE WORST MOVIES EVER", recognized actor Eric Freeman as the "worst actor ever" for his delivery of the "Garbage Day" line. (I think they're missing the point, don't you?) Later, the "worst movies" reel was posted on VH1's "Web Junk", where the editors call it a scene from "Silent Night, Deadly Night 1" Grrrr. VH1 loves their superlative lists, but they play fast and loose with the facts.





Next up, HARKZ87 produced this extended, non-campy remake. His "Garbage Day" uses tense music and an attention to detail to make a chilling re-enactment. (Althought the tiny garbage can kind of breaks the moment.)





We'll end on a goofy note: a self-described "crummy take-off" titled "Gardening Day", produced by GUGJUICE (yes, the same GUGJUICE who made "Snakes in a Hallway" just last week.) This is just the kind of video I would have made at their age. Of course instead of EVANESSANCE, the soundtrack would be RUSH or BLACK SABBATH.






Thanks for reading. Check back for more videos as they happen.