Brain Dead

Until recently, I’d only searched YouTube for “Garbage Day” videos. That is lazy blog journalism. (Is there any other kind?)

I apologize for my unprofessional research and I proudly present two videos that would have otherwise gone overlooked.


First up there’s “Chariots of Garbage Day”, a deliciously predictable short that premiered online in October 2006.




It's not groundbreaking or daring, but the simplicity works for me.

Though I do miss hearing Eric Freeman say “Garbage Day!”




“Mr. Mom” was the first movie to capitalize on setting a scene in slow-motion while playing the instantly recognizable score from “Chariots of Fire.” That comedy formula has been used countless times -- including “National Lampoon’s Vacation”, “Married...With Children”, "The Simpsons" and recently in an episode of “Ugly Betty.”


The “Chariots of Garbage Day” filmmaker also edited together “Chariots of Lebowski” (theme music set to a slow-motion scene from “The Big Lebowski”) and “Chariots of Braindamage” (That one features a scene from Peter Jackson's horror-comedy “Braindamage.” It was released in the U.S. as “Dead-Alive” because there was already an American horror film called "Brain Dead") Those two videos are a little more on-the-nose because they actually feature people running.



The next video I encountered is a doozy.




It’s very tempting to write something like “Worst Garbage Day Ever”, but I don’t respect people who throw around those kinds of superlatives.

“Worst ______ Ever” has become a shorthand, allowing dullards to express a negative opinion without articulating themselves.

Blogs, message boards and Vh1 have encouraged this empty form of debate in an increasing effort to make us a nation of semi-literates. Because of this ugly trend, I’ve forced myself to stop using phrases like “worst pancakes of all time” or “lamest verdict ever” because it makes me sound less intelligent.


That said, here’s why I disliked the video:

It was shot indoors. And that choice seemed more lazy than stylistic.

The filmmakers aren't passionate. This is supported by the description of the video which says “We were bored, so we made sumpthin from Silent Night Deadly Night 2”.

The video is titled “Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 - Garbage Day”, the title reflects the movie’s overall lack of imagination.

The lighting is bad, the camera work is terrible, and even the continuity is off. (Did you notice that the victim starts off in a red T-shirt, but is later wearing a black jacket?)

Some people might say, “Whatever, they’re just 13-year-olds making a dopey video.”

But to me, the sloppy effort is part of a bigger problem, like the over-use of superlatives, lazy-blogging and people using Wikipedia for medical advice.

Also, I made an effort when I was a kid making dopey videos.


To sum-up: "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 - Garbage Day" is not a very good movie, but I won’t call it “the worst video on the internet”, if for no other reason because I haven’t seen every video on the internet.


...